Last semester, I noticed that my belly was getting bigger relative to my body size. I was—and still am—skinny, weighing more or less than 100 pounds, with pinch-able body fats on my cheeks and stomach. At first I suspected it was just beer belly, as I’d been a heavy drinker since two years ago.
Then a couple of months ago, I began to feel bloated every time I eat. Then there’s belching, like there’s always some gas eager to get out of my digestive system. Being one of those kids who could burp at will, I always try to burp the gas out of my stomach.
Two months ago, I was hospitalized after having a little too much beer. I was vomiting, my stomach felt like it was churning acid. I was diagnosed with gastroenteritis and was discharged two days later.
Yesterday, I went to a clinic to have my lungs checked. I’d been coughing really hard for two weeks now. The doctor gave me some steroids that would supposedly clear my air pathways, something like that. She also got me to buy this nose spray that’s apparently just some glamorized liquid salt (the drug’s generic name was sodium chloride). I also had an X-ray, but the results would not be available until tomorrow.
I was able to view my X-ray film though, without the official doctor analysis. I was shocked to see that almost half of my right lung was hazy white—I don’t know if that’s normal, but it has sure discouraged me from ever smoking a stick of cigarette again.
Now, after having eaten a plate of spaghetti, and chugging a huge glass of milo, the bloated feeling is back. I don’t know if it’s just paranoia but I feel like I am having a hard time swallowing too, like my throat has significantly became narrower. I can’t help but google these symptoms, because I really think something’s wrong with my body—something serious.
The other night I was not able to sleep because I was coughing hard and having chest pains, and was very afraid that I wouldn’t be able to wake up the next day. I even wrote two goodbye notes addressed to my parents and kept them under my laptop. I even texted my roommate to wake me up when she wakes up, just to make sure that if I were dead, she would immediately know and rush me to the hospital.
I can’t sleep properly, I wake up after two to three hours of sleep feeling really groggy. I don’t know if it’s just the hormones that’s making me paranoid (I got my period today). I don’t know if I’m turning into a hypochondriac, as I always doubt what the doctors say, always insisting in my mind that there’s something more serious going on in my body. And I don’t know if I’m just being an annoying girl when I complain about the size of my belly (my lady friends tell me they too have huge bellies and they think it’s normal).
And on other news, it’s getting annoying when people sleeps over in your house every day, cooks their food, takes a bath in your wash room—they practically live with you but they don’t pay rent. One of the reasons why, if only I were more healthy, I would really prefer to live alone.